My Blog is a Toddler

Time swirls by and before you realise it you’re  the owner of a two year old blog.

And like most two year olds my blog has reached its toddler state. It has random fears like: No One Is EVER Going To Read Me and WHAT AM I DOING HERE.

I think it’s also a little afraid of the dark.

Sometimes my blog glares at me for no specific reason or has a tantrum about wanting more attention. It stands on its own for weeks but then suddenly it’s all clingy again.

I adore my two year old.

It helps me face my own securities, helps me focus on things I find important.

Yes I know I am talking about a blog. Yes. I know I am weird.

No. You do not need to tell me.

🙂

Horcruxes

I love the Harry Potter books for a lot of reasons, but mostly because the stories are just pure fun. I was a teenager when I read the books for the first time and somehow parts of the stories are imbedded in my core and pop up in the weirdest of times.

This last week my thoughts often returned to the world of Harry Potter, pondering the concept of horcruxes. You Know Who used these objects to conceal parts of his soul, to keep him alive, but in a way I think we all create horcruxes of sorts.

No, not by killing people but simply by living.

When I was seventeen I met a very sweet guy, we dated, got serious and stayed together for the better part of six years. At that point we broke up (in a friendly way) and continued our lives, both of us on a different path.

Last week this sweet guy, past away. Too young, too sudden.

And even though our ways had parted ten years ago, a part of my soul ripped apart, leaving me heartbroken, sad beyond reason.

We all scatter parts of our soul around us, in our partner, family, friends and pets. To be remembered, thought of. And even when this life ends, a part of us keeps on existing.

You can’t bring loved ones back to life, but you can cherish the part of their soul they left behind.

Try, Try & Try Again

Because it’s probably boring if I type an entire post about the word “try” I livened it up with pictures of The Avocado Project. Here goes:

Step one ->

Buy an Avocado

 

Step two ->

Eat an Avocado

(sorry no pictures of this event)

 

Step three->

Dry for a couple of days

Step four ->

Put sticks into it so it can dip in water

Step five –eight

Wait, wait and wait some more. (think of ridiculous names for your plant to be/settle for Mister Q)

Step nine

Start over again (because kitten thought Avocado Project was in fact a ball)

Side note: I did not overestimate my avocado growing skills and had a plan B, appropriately named Misses Bee. But Misses Bee is not growing, maybe heartbroken for the loss of Mister Q.

What have I learned up to this point? Well, for one thing that I’m not a supertalented avocado grower (is that even a word?) . Also that it’s not wise to put my avocado-in-process pots within the reach of my cats. But most important: if you want something (finish a book/grow an avocado/buy a vacuum cleaner with a name) you have to keep trying. And trying. And try again.

Like the green froglike person said: there is no try, only do.

(something like that anyway, sorry Yoda)

So Do Try. And grow your own luck!

 

( Homegrown Luck ..)

 

 

Car Conversations

Yesterday, I was in the car with two of my kids, when Jonah (boy, 7 years old), proclaimed he was going to be a writer. I smiled and told them I also have that dream since I was five.

Baukje (girl, 10 yrs old) was surprised and curious. So I reluctantly told them about stories I’ve written when I was their age (a never ending fairy tale about a magical flower and a series about a flying teabag. I know, I was a brilliant kid, haha).

I admitted it was still my dream and they were very interested in what I was writing now.

The conversation went something like this

Me: ‘It’s a story for teens about a girl that is half devil/half human. Her father is the devil (who’s retired for the time being) and her mother, well she’s a bit of a criminal. ‘

Jonah: ‘Cool’.

Me: (surprised they were still interested) ‘The girl protects the gate to hell which is in Paris and only has to do this for a couple of days, because she has done it for years. But then a terrorist starts bombing sites in the city.

Baukje: ‘Really?’ Does this really happen?”

Me: “No love, it’s just a story.’

Baukje: ‘Isn’t it too scary to write?’

Two things happened:

  1. Summarizing your story can do wonders for your understanding of it
  2. I realized children are the best. And I love them so much

 

bauk jo

(Jonah and Baukje being cute, standing on the Eiffel Tower).

 

I am a Long Drink Writer

­­Yesterday I had a whole afternoon to edit, edit, edit. And my process made me wonder if I am a normal person. Let me show you:

# 1 Circle around laptop like a curious bird eying a piece of glittering tinfoil for an hour or two

# 2 Open laptop

# 3 Check news, check weather, read ALL the twitter feed, stalk Instagram, pin things on Pinterest

# 4 Make tea. Rummage through cupboards for things to chew on

# 5 Finally sit down to write. Wondering if I should take a nap

# 6 Resist nap urge

# 7 Open document. Stare at all the words. Feel scared. Wonder why I want to finish/edit this draft in the first place.

# 8 Decide to work on story structure

# 9 Don’t know where to begin

# 10 Decide to begin at beginning (I am so smart)

# 11 Halfway through novel. Realize I don’t have an overview of the things that happen -> I am lost.

# 12 Mild panic

# 13 Grab myself together. Decide to make a story structure sheet with chapters

# 14 Make drawing instead.

And then time was up.

I’m really jealous of people who are super organised and GET THINGS DONE because they want to. They sit down, they write. I know I can get things done (I have a 60000 word zero draft to proof it, and other finished stories crying till the end of days in drawers) but I have not yet learned how to take this writing thing in small sips.

But maybe I don’t have to. Maybe I just have to learn what works for me and make the most of it. Maybe I’m a long drink writer.

Afbeeldingsresultaat voor long drink

(so pretty, I like pretty drinks)

I promised myself the YA urban fantasy I’m writing (aka draft that shall not be named) is going to be done November 1st . Really done. Ready to be send to agents done. That leaves me 7 months to make my process slightly more efficient.

I can do that.