No Clue

This writing thing is hard. Perfection mania lures around every corner, waiting to jump on the unsuspected writer (me) blinking in the same beat as the cursor on the white page. (crazy thing to do, and very tiring, I can tell you that).

I know from reading blogs, watching youtube, browsing twitter this is what writers go through. And in the last couple of years of me trying to become a (published) writer I’ve learned a couple of things about myself as well. Here goes:

  • I Hate what I write/love what I write/hate what I write. Continue until novel is finished.
  • I overthink everything. If you stare and ponder words long enough, they all sound wrong somehow. All of them.
  • I flinch at character charts because I don’t want to write about my characters, I just want to write them. Honestly I blackout when I write about them, because most of the time I don’t even know what they look like, until their comb gets stuck in their thick curls or they get sunburnt so bad, freckles are no longer visible. Sometimes they unknowingly change their names halfway through a story.
  • I am terrible at planning a story structure. I panic when I read things as: midpoint, where all is lost/nuggets of truth are discovered etcetera.
  • This does not mean my stories don’t have a structure of some sort.
  • The most funny one so far: I AM TERRIBLE. Why? Well considering the goal: become published, I need to put myself out there. I wrote over 5 novels and shelved them. Without querying. Because I think they aren’t good enough. I always think the next one will be better. (usually true).
  • I don’t have a linear brain, it goes back and forth, up and down.
  • I am a deadline addict. Without one I’m lost.

So considering the last line, I’m doing nano again. Spilling words on the page into a story that isn’t a story (yet), no editing. I am nowhere near the recommended daily word count but at least I’m giving myself permission to write awful descriptions, flat characters and hop from one scene to another. The best part of writing is when my brain subconsciously produces something on the paper. And I haven’t a clue how it got there.

(I am not even rereading this post whahahaha. Sorry. Yes I added that sorry on purpose just so I can count the words).

 

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Invisible Army

(The above title consists of the first words I wrote this November and I’m definitely adding them, and the rest of this post, to my NaNoWrimo total. Because I can).

A peculiar part of the World’s population is turning to blank pages armed with pens, fear of blinking cursors, or maybe even with fingers glued to an old fashioned typewriter. An army of writers pounding away time, word for word.

November is the month of novel writing, and I find it very strange that the idea of thousands of unknown people doing the same thing, is motivating. Why do I care that there are lots and lots of other people wanting to write a story? Why do I find solace in the idea I’m not the only one looking for the exact word to use, and the perfect name for a character?

It’s because it makes me feel less alone in this writing thing. And less crazy.

The idea of writing a 50.000 word story in one month is a big one, but for me it’s more about taking action. The rest of the year we can get back to overthinking and spending time waiting for circumstances to be different from what they are.

November is for action.

So thank you invisible army of international others! I salute you and wish you the best in your endeavours.

🙂

Swing when you’re writing

Autumn is in full swing. I, however, am not.

I’ve been slacking on writing and am starting to miss it. Maybe you know the feeling? That pull on your inside, the urge to pour some of your soul into something. Might be a drawing, might be a poem.

Might be a rhyming grocerylist.

The what doesn’t really matter. What matters is that you’ve to start something, anything.

And that’s why, after a short period of absence, I’ve returned to my blog. I don’t feel obliged to post something, but I’d like to and that’s a good feeling.

November is coming and NaNoWriMo comes with it. I’m going to participate, maybe I’ll just write childish awful rhyming grocery lists but I don’t care.

hi

my oh my

off to buy apples for my pie

goodbye

🙂

 

 

Meet Pie / On writing

I’m a very slow writer.

One that goes back and forth, editing. By the time I get to the end of the page, every word has been evaluated, deleted, put back or replaced. If you could see an audit trail of the page, you would probably think I have a multiple personality disorder. My inner editor is a good friend, but also my worst enemy.

Her name is Pie.

(It always seems a good idea to eat pie, and most of the times it is. But if you eat pie every day, the mirror probably isn’t going to tell good things, and I’m not even talking about what your health is thinking).

Like eating pie, it always seems a good idea to listen to my inner editor. But in a lot of cases she is the one slowing me down, and gets me wondering why I’m bothering in the first place.

That said. I’m doing NaNoWriMo. Pie is taking an obligatory holiday. She’s going to need to be well rested for the mess of words I intend to produce this November.

Also doing NaNoWriMo? You can find me/ buddy me here: http://nanowrimo.org/participants/ireneh